Systemic Family Constellations and the Knowing Field

Family Constellations and the Knowing Field

The Web of Family Connections: Biological, Adoptive, and Beyond

Each of us begins life as the result of a union between a sperm and an egg, connecting us biologically to a mother and a father. This biological link places us within a vast family network that stretches back to humanity’s earliest days. Whether or not we know our biological relatives—as in cases of adoption or other caregiving situations—we remain part of the biological family system into which we were born.

At the same time, the bonds we form with those who raise us, regardless of blood relation, shape us profoundly. These caregivers create the emotional and energetic environments in which we grow. Their influences, in turn, stem from their own family systems, creating a layered dynamic that impacts who we become and how we interact with the world. Yet, these connections do not overwrite the imprint of our biological origins.

While this article does not delve deeply into the complexities of biological versus adoptive or surrogate family systems, stay tuned for future writings exploring these intersections. As someone who was adopted at birth and has worked extensively in mental health with diverse family backgrounds, I bring a unique perspective to these dynamics. Sign up for my newsletter to follow along as I share more insights in the future.

Understanding Family Constellations

Family Constellations is a phenomenological therapeutic approach that prioritizes lived experiences and acknowledges the value of subjective perspectives. It examines how unresolved traumas and hidden dynamics within family systems can manifest as emotional, psychological, or physical distress. Issues such as depression, anxiety, addiction, relationship difficulties, health problems, or career struggles often trace back to these systemic influences.

Developed by German psychotherapist Bert Hellinger, this approach recognizes that every family operates as a system transmitting information across generations, often unconsciously. British cell biologist Rupert Sheldrake expanded on this idea with his concept of the morphogenetic (or morphic) field—a subtle energy field within which living systems function. Sheldrake posited that this field, while currently immeasurable, is experienced and felt by many. For instance, telepathy and the “sense of being stared at” may stem from interactions within these fields.

Importantly, this concept is not mystical but grounded in the idea of interconnected energy fields that continuously influence us. For a deeper dive into morphic fields and resonance, Sheldrake’s work provides fascinating insights and experiments illustrating these phenomena.

Bridging Science, Psychology, and Spirituality

The exploration of human interconnectedness has historically been divided among science, psychology, and spirituality. Early pioneers like Carl Jung sought to bridge these domains, integrating the “spiritual” and phenomenological dimensions of life with cognitive and physiological functions. Jung’s extensive writings on personal and clinical experiences underscore the interconnectedness of the rational and the transcendental.

Antonio Mercurio, founder of Existential Personalistic Anthropology, further advanced this integration. He argued that to fully heal and evolve, we must embrace the wisdom humanity develops through the four main avenues of human cultural development: of inquiry: science, philosophy, spirituality, and artistic creation. He affirmed that just as religion is missing something when it is not integrated with science, science – in this particular case, the sciences dealing with mental and emotional suffering, such as psychology, psychotherapy and psychiatry – is nearsighted if it does not have a broader view of human reality, one that can acknowledge the more subtle dimensions that most of us know exist, but that are hard to “prove” in a laboratory.

Mercurio proposed that we can access the wisdom available through all these avenues and apply it in our own unique ways to transform our past and create new beauty from even the most traumatic experiences. By doing so we become “Life Artists”—individuals who transform their wounds into energy for creating new realities. He believed that setting meaningful goals and striving to create love for oneself and others are essential steps toward healing and growth. For Mercurio, love is not merely a feeling but a deliberate act of supporting and enhancing the life project within ourselves and others.

Bert Hellinger and the Origins of Family Constellations

Hellinger’s work in Family Constellations was deeply influenced by his time with the Zulu people in South Africa. He observed their profound connections to both living family members and ancestors, recognizing how these bonds transmit life energy and resolve traumas across generations. Returning to Germany, Hellinger left the priesthood to focus on psychotherapy, where he integrated these insights into his practice.

Drawing on Sheldrake’s morphogenetic field theory, Hellinger developed techniques to explore how family systems influence individuals. He identified that family systems often impose unspoken rules and agreements that shape members’ beliefs and behaviors, sometimes leading to suffering when these dynamics remain unconscious. For example, intergenerational trauma can manifest in ways that affect descendants on cultural, psychological, emotional, and even genetic levels—an area increasingly explored through epigenetics.

The Power and Pitfalls of Family Conditioning

Family conditioning can be both a source of strength and a limitation. Positive family patterns provide a sense of belonging and cohesion that supports survival and growth. Conversely, restrictive or harmful patterns can inhibit authentic self-expression and create suffering. For example, unconscious adherence to outdated family beliefs can perpetuate prejudice, violence, or self-destructive behaviors.

Understanding these patterns is crucial for breaking free from limiting influences. As we become aware of the hidden dynamics within our family systems, we can heal from past wounds and build healthier lives. This process not only benefits individuals but also contributes to the collective evolution of humanity.

Expanding Awareness: Beyond the Personal

Our interconnectedness extends beyond immediate family systems to broader societal, cultural, and even planetary influences. Just as the Aurora Borealis is a visible manifestation of the Earth’s interaction with solar energy, human behavior reflects unseen energy fields and connections. Advances in science, psychology, and spirituality continue to reveal these intricate dynamics, helping us understand how past experiences and external forces shape our lives.

By embarking on personal journeys of healing and self-discovery, we contribute to the growing understanding of these complex systems. Through this awareness, we can transform inherited patterns and align more fully with our authentic selves, fostering a more compassionate and interconnected world.

Understanding Family Constellations and the Orders of Love

Family Constellations, as developed by Bert Hellinger, is a therapeutic approach that seeks to uncover and resolve deep-seated imbalances within family systems. At its heart lies the concept of “The Orders of Love,” general truths about life and relationships that, when disrupted, can create intergenerational suffering.

The Right to Belong: Hellinger’s First Order of Love

One foundational principle is that every member of a family system has an inherent right to belong. Exclusion—whether due to shame, rejection, or neglect—creates imbalances that ripple through generations. For example, if a family member is shunned due to an unwanted pregnancy or disruptive behavior, their exclusion can manifest as unresolved emotional patterns in later generations. Sensitive individuals within the family often intuitively perceive these disturbances, leading to symptoms such as anxiety, depression, or unexplained physical ailments.

Emotional Repression and the Consequences

Many families and societies perpetuate a culture of emotional repression. Hellinger’s observations resonate with broader critiques of Western thought, such as of the Cartesian emphasis on the mind over the body and emotions (“Cogito Ergo Sum” – “I think, therefore I am”).

This perspective has fostered a mechanistic view of human life, sidelining the importance of emotions in the human experience, and in our general health and well-being.

Emotional repression can lead to a variety of problems, including addiction, mental health struggles, and a disconnect from the natural world. There is increasing consensus among many in the mental health professions that the roots of many psychological, emotional and even physical disturbances lie in early childhood trauma: the burgeoning field of trauma-informed therapy acknowledges that CPTSD is much more widespread than previously thought, and it can be seen as the actual problem underlying many of the diagnoses currently identified in the mental health literature.

If it is true that problems on an individual level can be traced back to early childhood, it only makes sense to recognized that unresolved family traumas create the fabric of the emotional and relational “atmospheres” that we grow up in, which then can manifest as misplaced loyalties or unhealthy entanglements that block personal growth and fulfillment.

The Role of Sensitivity in Healing

Sensitive family members, often labeled as “black sheep,” play a crucial role in highlighting these imbalances. Their struggles can serve as a catalyst for healing, pushing the family system toward greater awareness and growth. Hellinger and other thought leaders like Antonio Mercurio assert that pain can be a transformative force, driving individuals to seek new solutions and expand beyond inherited limitations.

Restoring Balance Through Family Constellations

Family Constellations workshops provide a structured approach to uncovering and addressing these hidden dynamics. Through the “morphogenic field” concept, participants tap into the collective energy and history of their family system. This field, much like the electromagnetic field surrounding the Earth, holds the memories and unresolved tensions of the family.

Practical Example:

Consider a family where a great-grandfather was an alcoholic, leading to his eventual exclusion. This unacknowledged trauma creates a ripple effect, instilling patterns of shame and emotional suppression in subsequent generations. In a Constellation session, a facilitator might guide the client to represent this ancestor within the field, allowing the family’s unresolved pain to surface and be addressed with empathy and understanding.

Key Elements of Family Constellations

1. Representation: Participants or objects represent family members or ancestors, revealing hidden dynamics.
2. Facilitation: A trained facilitator helps the client explore the imbalances and guide the session toward resolution.
3. Healing Movements: The process often involves symbolic gestures or phrases that acknowledge and restore the flow of love within the family.

Integration with Broader Healing Practices

Hellinger’s work aligns with a growing recognition of the interconnectedness of mind, body, and spirit. By embracing emotions as integral to human experience, Family Constellations foster a shift from a survival-driven mindset (“Cogito, ergo sum”—“I think, therefore I am”) to one centered on love and integration (“Amo, ergo sum”—“I love, therefore I am”).

Steps Toward Healing

1. Acknowledgment: Recognize unresolved family dynamics and their impact on your life.
2. Empathy: Develop compassion for yourself and others within the family system.
3. Engagement: Participate in individual or group Constellation sessions to explore and address imbalances.
4. Integration: Apply insights gained from the process to cultivate healthier relationships and personal growth.
5. Synthesis: Through awareness of how our family dynamics influence us today, we can become masterful in creating a synthesis of opposites within ourselves and our lives. Rather than striving for perfection, we strive for understanding of both light and dark, the ugly and the beautiful, love and hate, right and wrong, and by becoming ever more capable of actuating such syntheses we become an Artist of Life.

A Vision for Collective Healing

Family Constellations offer a pathway to transform inherited trauma into a source of strength and wisdom. By honoring the interconnectedness of all aspects of life—mind, body, emotions, and spirit—this method helps individuals and families embrace their full potential and foster a more compassionate and inclusive society.

Conclusion

Through Family Constellations, we gain access to profound insights about our family systems and ourselves. This approach not only illuminates the roots of our challenges but also empowers us to create new patterns of love, empathy, and understanding. By prioritizing connection and integration over repression and denial, we move closer to a world where love and life flow freely for all.

In synthesis, Family constellation work can help clients in a number of ways:

– to provide clarity and understanding about past experiences and patterns of behavior, allowing clients to break free from negative cycles in thought, feeling and behavior, and move towards more fulfilling relationships and life goals;

– to help clients heal from ancestral trauma and release negative emotions and relationship patterns such as unhealthy loyalties and entanglements, that have been passed down through generations. By becoming aware of these often hidden issues, clients can experience a greater sense of peace, purpose, and fulfillment in their lives.

Overall, Family Constellation work is a unique and powerful approach that can provide profound healing and growth for clients seeking a deeper understanding of themselves and their family system.